Father's Day

" Kak, tulis kan name kak? "... ayah requested me, holding a pen & paper.

" asal tak ayah jer tulis?? "..i responded as i pondered y he came all the way to me to ask me to write the name..

" Pasal nama Shasa la kak..." ayah's voice trailed away...

Shucks...i can literally feel that a tear can escape from my eyes but as usual, i prevented that by agreeing, w/o looking at ayah, and taking the pen & paper from him.

Yup, we "celebrated" Father's day by having a Tahlil for my late sis..

3 years ago, when She passed away 21st June 04, everybody in the world was happily celebrating father's day..

how ironic! a day so special for a anyone who is a father has to be a day that my ayah would not even want to hear of, i guess..though he still hv 2 living children..as now, after being a mother myself, i guess even if i have 10 children, for me to lose any1 of them would be damn..damn sad..

Whoever knows my family, would agree that my dad has a very soft2 heart..never would he raise his voice at us or lay a hand on us..never.. period! He is a friend, a good fren..who would never say no to us.. so good that i would never wanna break his heart and i never portrayed him as how a father figure would be, stern & looks intimidating.

And so i was contemplating on whether i should celebrate FD for him, as i know tt would only remind him of THAT day..

Well i guess, i shall juz leave it for his Birthday then, it would be happier as that is the date i got married..

hmm, tt's a joyous occasion but "sad" for ayah too.. as he was oso "losing" me.. in a way la..kan? kan?

today is 17th June..

Tomorrow is 18th June..

That's the day IT happened..