Sad or Happy?

Denial is the word that best describe that feeling I have long been keeping...

happy yet sad..

complete but missing..

strong yet i feel like crumbling..

emotionless but hell, no one knows what lies beneath..

Well, anyway I juz got back from geylang, ya I know, for the umpteen times, but there are simply many things that we need to grab...

oh well, yeah so while shopping, I heard lagu raya being played...

and gosh!

God knows how i felt...

Have anyone ever feel sad for something happy??

that's how i felt, damn confused...

Lagu raye happy2 but aku nie feel sad nak mampos!

how ironic that is..

suddenly flashback of those happier days, raya years with my late lil sis started to play back...

haiz...

now i know why the adults always cry on hari raya...

even as I am typing away, I am choking on the tears that I am holding back..

juz letting it out will help, wont it?

But my strong-headed ego decline that choice....

I MUST NOT CRY!

FREAKING HELL!!

anyway, since it hari raya mood, lemme put on this song "Airmata Syawal"...

a song I have always dedicated to Her since that fateful year , 2004.

and 1 more thing, I always look @ the beautiful sky and imagine that it is Heaven & she is looking down on all of us..

It's beautiful...

I am sure you are happy there..

We will meet soon...

One day...