Welcome back Ryan..

I had since stopped uploading Ryan's pix cos i always pening kpala mane pix nak letak..suma cute2..kekekeke!!

So i will put a monthly pix juz for my own keepsake..

hello ryan..!!

You are a big boy now...mama cant carry you very long la now...

Look at those thighs..macam nak gigit jer!

talk about gigi..aku rase dia nie nak tumbuh gigi..tak cepat sgt ker eh??

Nak cleepp....

suka nah tarik nenek dia nye table cloth..! sempat posing lagik..

now..he always want to eksyen2 drive..ayah always say no, you must ride motor..kkekeke!

Erm..

Did i say 1 pix only?

hmmm......

anyway mama & ayah loves you alot...!!

wat more can i ask for?

Paycheck is in..

5% increment...

Backdated increment...

alhamdulillah...!

what more can i ask for...beside feeling syukran..syukran..

Ritz nie baik la..aku nie dah la betray dorang to go to St Regis..

I am starting to feel so...so...bad...

N knowing that aku will be emotional bila last day aku, there i was already going around taking2 pixs.. itu pon dah sad..

Normal comments, " so sad..been here so long...bla..bla..from teenager to now mama oreadi.." the list goes on..

Anyway i have a secret..

but i shall not declare that now..

wat til the time is ripe..

Batal tak??

I am so craving....

Craving for...........

Pizza!!

and this..

Lasagne....

Batal tak?

Khehehe!!

Randomness....

I guess it is true la..

Tiba jer bulan syawal, kiter mesti teringat yang tiada..

Hati memang tertunggu2 nak dgr lagu raya pat radio.. al-maklum la, walaupon ade bnyk CD lagu raya ataupon website lagu raye, dgr pat radio on the airwave lagik gerek..lagik FEEL gituk..

Tapi bila dgr lagu yang sedih...Terkenang2 si Shasa tu..Terkenangkan saat2 terakhir dia..Wishing that she will still be here..etc

Bih, bila dgr lagu happy, PON terkenang..Teringat time kecik2, joget2 lagu raya nie la tu la.. those happy moments la..

So if mcm gini, cam ner aku nak dgr lagu raya?!! haha..

Aku rase, every year aku nak kene pakai Sunglass la..so bleh cover2 sikit..ala, aku maner bleh nangis dpn org..malu la! ya..ya...

maybe aku ego..

tapi itu aku..

aku tetap aku..

aku tak suka org tgk my kesusahan, kesedihan, dan segala han yg sewaktu dgn nye..

biarla org tgk aku mcm takde perasaan, unaffected or cold..

But those who hv embrace the coldness in me, will always feel warmth..

get it?

no, then its ok..

Sedih..

Was happily MSN-ning with my kuzzins..

Dalam kegembiraan dan keseronokan typing2 sambil ketawa sendiri, dia bilang aku la yang lagu raya kuar kat radio..

WAT??!

slalu kan dah 2 weeks posa baru lagu2 raya akan berkumandang pat radio..kan? kan?!

aku pon bukak la radio untuk dgr...

adoi!!

menusuk kalbu la..mata aku terus berkaca ngan airmata..!

makan kan tak nye, lagu Siti Nurhaliza la, AIRMATA SYAWAL...

laguk nie la yang klu aku dgr teringat arwah adik aku...

knape eh? ntah la.. it juz reminds me of her...like as though dia nyanyi lagu tu untuk kiter suma...ARR!! takmo imagine lagik la...sedih!!!

enjoy the song..klu nangis jgn salah kan saya ok..

Nie our last raya together..all 5 of us..

It Is my birthday but yet...

Yes, as you know it is my hatch-day today..

I, for one who hates to be in lime-light, actualy hates birthdays..

Not because of the addition of years to my age but for the fact that i feel embarrassed each time the birthday song is sung for me..

God Knows y each time they sing for me, my ears turns red and i will always tear..

It is not a big deal to me so i dun usually take any leaves to celebrate the day..But sometimes i do now, to run away from overwhelming wishes.

Dun get me wrong ok..it not that i dun appreciate it all but I myself have no idea why i feel weird each time the day comes..hahaha!! Very emo sak klu org sing aku bdae song...

Ok maybe i can shed some light ya..

Being the first in the family had been the greatest thing..

Grand Birthday celebrations was a norm to me...

Takla grand sampai pi hotel..but parties on large scale & Mcdonald's Birthday parties..

wah klu dulu, mcm best kan bila the restaurant is booked for yours truly bdae party..cam princess gituk..

Ya..Ya..liz gonna add that my last McD party was when i was in SECONDARY THREE..kekeke!!

Till, 1 day...

my birthday fell on a schooling day...

And during that time, my granddad had taken ill and was in the hospital...

Wen i was getting ready for school, mama said to me that granddad wanted to see me, so mama will speak to the school to have me excused..

But i refuse, cos it was my birthday...i WANTED to be in school..

So..i went ahead..but along the way, i felt bad but i tot to myself, " Ala..atuk should be ok la..tomorrow i can go.."

Well you see, atuk had been the most active atuk i hv ever known.. he exercised & ate healthily..was never sick, as in sickly...so i tot, it was just a normal ailment..

At school, i was happy but i felt funny...was showered with gifts..gerek!

Bla..bla..bla..school ended & i reached home..an empty home..I smelt something weird & kinda scary la..

Then a call came that nearly made me jumped out my skin..

It was ayah..

Granddad just passed away....& wen he asked for me, i wasnt there instead i was celebrating my BIRTHDAY...

my TOMORROW never came..

I was stumped...

Atuk loves showering me with love, care, gifts & monies...be it if i passed any test/exams with flying colours, birthdays or simply juz cos he wants to...

The TOMORROW came, with me sending him off for the last...

Regrets..regrets..regrets...

And so, each time my birthday comes, i get this sweet reminder that i should never NEVER take anything/anybody for granted...yeah, and from here, i get reminded of my late lil sister..

With this year birthday, I am just grateful that i have a husband who understands me, my son who never fail to make my day, my family who is always supportive, In-laws who accept me for who I am(tak tau masak, malas nak kemas..hehe etc) and a blooming career..

What more could i ask for?

oh..if I can..

I wish I can see you...

Shasa..my late lil sister...

Even in my dreams..

erm, better in my dreams la..aku nie lemah semangat takut nanti ko menjelma, aku yang pengsan...sempat sak buat kelakar..!

Bodoh tul!!

ok ok..i am trying to be happy..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!

Happy..

Last night i was too angered by the incident that i didnt blogged about other happenings..

But hey, i guess my day wasnt that bad though..

well, to begin with yesterday, plan was to meet Liz to go visit Ifa..

So anticipating space constraint wit my baby car seat, we remove it temporarily so that we can make space for hyper Hilmi..keke!

So there you have me & Baby Ryan in the front seat...

At ifa's place, we chatted till ard 5.30pm...seems like there were a lot to catch up that we didnt realised how the time flies..

So we excused ourselves as Liz had to balik to cook her baby kailan with beef and some other dishes la..keke!

After sending them back home, we made our way to Chong pang CC. well i blogged about that last nite oreadi..

Actuali in the morning yesterday, i wanted to open the topic about going geylang after the Iftar thingy.. But wasnt quite sure if hub will be keen about it, i mean since he hates the crowd wat more wit Ryan, takut he not comfy..btw, aku pon hate crowd but time2 posa cam best gi bazaar..biarpon aku nanti akan mengamok sendiri...

But skali, Hubby la yang bukak topic dulu..ape lagik! terkinja2 la aku macam monyet pat zoo..

" NAK! NAK! "

haha..i may have sounded like an overly excited kiddo..

So after Iftar, lepak2 pat umah my parents first then left at ard 9..

It rained actuali, i was upset but i was happy again as hub was still up to the idea la..best sungguh..

Ala, then rain pon stopped so it wasnt that bad la..

As we drove to geylang Ryan pon terlena..apakan tidak, dah bedtime dia..hehe!! Bad mama & ayah..ape nak buat, mama & ayah nak carik ayam percik la..

Wen we reached, Ryan pon wakey2..instead of the pram, I opted for the carrier..pasal dulu aku slalu menyumpah org2 yg bawak pram pi tempat yang sesak cam geylang..dah la ramai org, dgm pram sondol sini, sondol saner...ish..ish! maaf ye, kepada sape2 yang terkilan wit this remarks..

So after strapping up, we walked in the bazaar. ala, baju2 suma samer lek macam dulu..aku nie tak fav sangat pakai baju yang ade rende2 mcm langsir tu.. maniq sini maniq saner..aku klu pakai confem2 kejung nak mampos.. aku salute org2 yang boleh pakai baju2 yang gatal2 tu...okla, mungkin tak gatal la but the looks nampak gatal..

I go for cooling material...mesti nak selesa2 cam pakai tshirt..hehe! tak suka rimas2.. ala, pakai make up jer aku dah rimas.. camne?

we were looking for savoury foods..ayam percik, otak2.. NO burger ramli pls...serik la.. tyme tu beli tak masak seh..masih merah2. since then, both of us will always give their stall a pass.

In the beginning, Ryan was looking around in excitement but halfway thru, dia kalah mata and we realised dia dah knock out..kekeke!

bought our foodies and left for home.

clean Ryan up and he was ready for bed again..

The mama & ayah had a slumber party, eating the foods and watching moto Gp as well as blogging & chatting...

We love our nightly chats..it is simply enjoyable, talking over supper. We made it a point to talk.

To us, communication plays a major part in marriage.

Since both of us can be reali2 hard-headed, ala kpala batu la, wen at loggerheads. Me being the, " i-always-stand-for-my-rights kind" and him being the, " i-wont-talk-if-i-am-angry kind"..u can only imagine how things are if we have misunderstandings..hahahaha!

I love to strike the iron while its hot...But the iron, in this context, my hubby, doesnt like to talk over things wen still "hot"...bayangkan...keke!!

But ironically, I love him more wen we gaduh...it juz brings us closer. haha!

Quarrels adalah asam garam perkahwinan per..klu takde quarrels, takdela asam garam so the marriage will be "tasteless"... faham tak philopsophy aku nie??

Haiz, bual2 gini cam nak pi join laki aku pat luar la..

Bye suma!!

I LOVE YOU HUBBY!!!!

so DAMN pissed..NO shame nye woman...GRR!!

after visiting Ifa & baby, we made our way to Chong Pang CC where they were having an Iftar session with the yishun peeps...

skali kene separate la..boy 1 side, gerls 1 side...ok fair enuff, i sat with mama & hub sat with ayah..

1st piss off incident, this kendarat gerl asyik nah la step antar nie la tu la pat table laki aku!! jalan mendada2 lak tu. fine..no a prob pasal aku chill la hokay..

Actuali table kiter beside each other jek..pandai2 la bayang kan ye..

Then came this 2nd incident which made me blow my top!

At my table, ada satu minah nie la duduk..ok la no minah la, pompuan step kakak2 pekak..haha! but her mom knew mine so chill...

Oh btw, Ryan was wit his daddy la..boys mah...but aku peduli ape, i kept goin to & fro to their table.

THEN, after makan, this kakak2 pekak stood up & went straight to my hubby and took my son from him! dah step macam tu laki dia and anak dia..mondok tul!

My stunned hubby tot I knew her so he gave Ryan to her..

I was pissed, damn pissed but i was still sane enuff to maintain peace..

SHE was carrying ryan, playing ard with him..and as though Ryan could sensed that i dun like tt woman, he cried..no juz sobbing, shoving ard as though he wants to be out of her grip.

THEN this women said to my mom that Ryan is hungry..KNN tul..sape mak dia sekarang huh?? aku tau la bila anak aku lapar..Dia nangis pasal tak tahan bau ko agaknye..bodohz..

fine..i juz made the milk with absolute no sense of urgency...

Then, as i was pouring the hot water, she got the bloody cheek to tell me, " susu jgn panas2 eh.." WTF! aku maid dia ker?? doing chore for her...and is Ryan my son or hers...? argh! no werds could describe wat i felt..

i gritted my teeth and continue preparing the milk..

Then she cradled him like a baby..and ryan was further agigated & irritated..

This time, i said, in my bloody british accent that i always like to pull off whenever i want to disgust my colleague at werk, " excuse me, but he doesnt like to be cradled like that! " it was so snide & i think i made it clear to all around that i wasnt too happy wit that shameless kakak2 pekak..

Asshole...

Come on, wont you gerls be taken aback if an unknown stranger, well at least to u, dengan penuh selamba go over to your HUSBAND to take your child? I mean, tak malu ker dia? at least tanya la aku, biar aku yang do tt for her, if she reali must carry my son. hmm, given a choice, she can relak 1 corner la.

laki aku pon shock sak..ape punya pompuan la nie..

ini maciam pon boleh kah?!

it is decided...i guess...

never have i felt this way..

in a dilemma that nearly made me lose my sanity...

i mentioned that he will talk to me again on Monday.

nah..he call me to the office on the day itself...

butterflies came & STAYED in my tummy.

goodness it was madness...!

But frankly, if i am leaving, i will be leaving with a heavy heart....

heavy heavy heart..

it feels like family here..

ok back to the part when he called me to the office...

well, the conversation was an attractive 1 and it seems fair enuff for me..

and on another tot, i felt, Ya..maybe i should stay...

i left the office with mixed feelings..

To stay or still leave...cos now both are comparable..

But i yearn for the experience to be part of the pioneer team, opening a hotel...

hmm..

everywer i go, in the car, bathing, breaking fast..my mind is always on it..

I prayed for a light to shine on which direction i should take..

And then...

I went to the room to take my HP which was charging, well to those who know me, my hp must be with me 24/7..b4 proceeding to join hubby at the balcony for our nightly chat...

Then i realised that i had several missed calls from, well, i shall name him DS...

I returned the call and we talked..

I was honoured that he actuali call up to give his 2cents worth...

I have always loved his werking style and i am glad he have so much trust and confident in me.

After the conversation, i guess i knew what i had to do..

Gaining experience to build up a department from scratch in the renowned hotel so that i will have two major brands under my wing and that would boost up as well as make my resume priceless..

Thanks a lot D....speaking from your angle, i understand it all know..

I wanna be like you in the next 10 years, the head of a hotel!! kakaka..ok ok head of a division enuff la..keke! Cos i hv never seen or heard of a female GM, that is..

Or maybe i should be the first eh?? keke, stop imagining la...

The light came.....

So i will be seeing him again to officialise that i decide to turn the down the offer to retract my resignation letter..

It will be the SADDEST thing....

But I have decided...it will be St Regis...

period.

Rejected....

Just came back from GM office..

i cried in there!!

haha...

well, i was a swinging bachelorette when i first started and now i am a werking mama..

loong 7 years here and alot of memories while climbing the ladder.

and yes he rejected it..

For now tt is..

we will meet again on Monday.

And if I decide to start then, he wil actuali call the GM from my future new hotel to void my SIGNED contract..

well...well...well...

should i stay or go?

2-timing....

shucks...

the deal is done..

but i am still holding on here...

cant bear to see my GM or hotel manager...

alahai...

y must they be my direct superior..?

susah tul aku nak menyampai kan hasrat aku....

how...how...how!!

The time has come...

Goodness...

I cant believe that i am reali doing this...

Reality have yet to settle in since the call came.

But i know, this is what i have always wanted...

In progression to my 10-year goal, this is 1 BIG step..

Having succeeded in my 5-yr goal, which is what i am enjoying now..having a family on my own, our own shelter, our own car besides the bike..

I should have the same confidence that i can achieve it the same way..

Now is the time to start on it...

BUT STILL...

It is a sad thing & a BIG sacrifice too on my part....

sob...

Once it is finalised & done with, i shall update...

Craves...Craving...

i am having bouts of craving these past few days...

haha!

Hub says i crave more than the time i was pregnant...

Today i feel like eating Maggi Goreng....

Yum..yum!

I love it..

I love it when i have plans lined up...

It's Seram cukor rambut tmr as well as nurul's birthday..

Well anyway, my aim was to blog about all the happenings tt hv yet to make it on my blog but it seems that i cant blog about the outdated events la..

Terlalu banyak yg gerek berlaku..

so i shall summarise it...

1. Went to Geylang to makan Rojak

2. Came back to carpark, and realised we got summoned!

3. Then proceed to United Square to shop at Fox baby...best sungguh!!

and then, many other jalan2 carik makan days..

k la.. i dunno wat to blog la..mundane it may sounds but hey, my life is reali overloaded!!

lastly..next month is our car birthday...

Oh btw, Ryan turns 4 month as of ydae.. 070907.

Ryan wit Mama

Ryan with Ayah..

Nasi Lemak..

Juz a few days ago..

i cooked nasi lemak lagik..

ye la..since the 1st time aku success giler, step la..

but this time round i was so hungry...

tak sabar aku nak menikmati hasil penat lelah aku nie..

pang..pong..bing!!

abis periuk2 suma aku kerjakan..

bila dah siap, aku hidangkan la atas meja..

SEKALI!!!

bila kiter mkn...

punya la nasi berlemak takde rase..

wakakakaka!!

lupa aku nak letak garam..

hehe..

i offered to cook another pot..

but hub say mkn jer la..with the sambal prawn & all..

walaupon sungguh the plain..

abis jugak 1 periuk..

hehe!!

sayang hubby...

Buang Yang Keruh Amik Yang Jernih...

By chance, i had stumbled upon a comment up in mutiply from my other fren's page..

hmm, tak sangka eh..dia masih ingat name aku..tul nye anti aku gaknye..hehe!

and me being me..i must know wat is the reason behind all tt..

So i PM her..

And she replied..

i replied back..

and she replied again..

then we added on MSN..

After tt, its history...

well, it was funny to think that we didnt speak to each other for the whole of Sec Sch juz becos she felt that i was "tak senyum nye org" and jalan menonong jer..and i also felt that dia yang step fierce..haha!

so masing2 nak hidup..so continue la kiter dgn muka tarak senyum..

so now after 12 long years, we sorted our differences and find tt it was absurb..*chuckles*

patutla ade kater pepatah, tak kenal maka tak cinta..

aku rase pasal kan web nie kan suma letak gambar senyum2 selebar2 nye.. so org tgk tak step gitu..haha!!

erm..today i gained friendship from a person who i never tot i would..

haha!!

wen Anak Metro Meet Hanyut..jadi nye..

Barney & Friends..

wakakakakaka!!
so buat sesiapa yang di luar sane yang dulu ade masalah dgn aku..sila2 PM aku atau do anything to attract my attention..

Confem aku in touch ngan korang to settle score..

tapi settle kat net jer tau..haha!!

hmm..on another note.. tul ke muka aku step??

ala..okla okla aku try la blajar senyum..keke!

After 12 long months.......

nyeheehe...ye la..aku tau aku semangat aku nak hilang dari blog sphere nie mcm semangat 5 min..

Computer ngan aku tak boleh dipisahkan per.. tido bangun aku, mengadap comp.. oh ye, Tuhan pon aku tak lupa..kaka!

well, after such a long time aku gantung aku nye bowling shoe dan masuk kan bola bowling tu dlm perut, akhirnya, aku kembali..kembali maner?? maner lagi, pi bowling la!!

fuh!! shiok banget..hub tak hegeh2 lagi, take pix si wifey nie campak bola..

amacam? kurus tak aku..khehehe!!

it was hell of a time la..together wit zul & tony..while we we at this, lil Ryan relak 1 corner and slept..ceh!

we left home after tt and tido..abih ape lagi kan..

before this, we had many2 outings la..yang tak ter-blog pon..ermm..oh ok Vivo city..

and this one..Ryan nak step fierce like the ayah..

yawnz...! dah la, i guess tt is enuff for today, kesian Ryan ngah tido sorang2..

and this last pix is juz to ingat2 kan kembali zaman2 baru kahwin, baru balik honeymoon.hehe!

nie time, it was D & D..after this event, we had the self test the next day. So kirakan, nie gambar dah preggy tapi tak tau lagi..*malu la..*

1st Sept..this date last year...

i juz realised...

that...

exactly 1 year ago...

this date.......

I had tested positive to be pregnant...

WAKAKAKA!!!

celebrate??

ceh..aku nie sikit2 nak celebrate..

carik alasan jer.........

cleaning up my closet.........

hallluuuu...............

haha! its teacher's day yah..hmm, teringat time zaman2 kiter berpusu2 pi carik prezzie utk cikgu2 kesayangan aku...hehe!! ala, kater teacher's pet..yela2 aku tau krg menyampah but kira ok la..

the other day, I was cleaning up the closet, sap mcm lagu Eminem seh, oh well back to the story, i was cleaning up..i stumbled upon my certs and all.. wah! kencang jugak aku mcm lancang kuning..haha! ape2 jer aku..

There i had my PSLE cert..wah! itu kebanggaan aku tau..maner tak nye, i had aggregate of 232..seronok gitu...

But i didnt have my O level cert..kenapa eh? oh ye tak ye..aku tak pi collect results..kaka!

and you may wonder y kan..pasal aku name jer amik 8 subjects tapi aku absent on dunno how many.. i dunno wat happen to me la but i juz didnt feel like jer..mepek kan..!

then i tot, y not juz go get the statement results for the sake of having it in records..at least ade la proof aku amik O levels..muahaha!

i ajak-ed hub down to MOE and purchased tt statement of result for 10bucks..walau eh!!

and then, ade ke patut si laki kesayangan aku ketawa terbahak2 kan aku nye result..ish! mintak kene jotos ler! dia kater nampak jer lawa banyak subjects tapi absent la..nie la tu la...well, at least i dun have any UNGRADED grade...keke!

looking at it, i cant help but feel blessed that i have a job, a career, a position tt doesnt reflect my pathetic results..haiz!! i guess ku dah rezeki tu tak ke mana..

teringat dedulu, carik keje main2 ngan liz.. haha! liz if you are reading, remember the time we tried for this particular job..skali its a sales kinda thing..sucks man..penipu! aku siang2 dah kater if its tt kinda of sales2 nye job, i dont wan..but they keep saying no its not.. hidup mati balik pon i will not do sales la.. leceh sak..have to werk for the commission..aku nie malas sikit nak jadi persuasive..in the end, we sort of "cabut" from them..

ala, up to individual la ye..as 4 me, i am happy with wat i am doing currently.. shiok! alhamdulillah..

ok la..aku will upload my angel's pix soon..well, anyway reason for not uploading is cos, there seems to be more than i can choose..suma tute2!! haha!! my memory card aku rase nak kene upsize..*chuckles*

anyway, it will be a busy month for me.. today ade wedding, tmr my adik sepupu tunang, next week another adik sepupu birthday & fizah's nye anak si "seram" nye cukor rambut..

and to add to my list..

my bestie IFA..

HAVE GIVEN BIRTH TO A BABY BOY at 0044hrs!!

CONGRATS to ifa & shah...