WAKE UP YOUR BLOODY IDEAS!!!

haha!!

I wonder, I so wonder..

why is this world blinded by wealth and successes..?

For decades..

Oh no.. in fact more..

we had been true thick & thin..

up and downs..

round & round..(ok ok not funny huh..!)

we even had a video created by Liz, a personalized video show-casing us..

just us..

Ifa, being the more cautious one and the pretty thing among us all had never been on any of our nerves when torrents of guys bugged us for her contacts. Instead of betraying her, we protected her privacy even if it meant disappointing the boys..

Aishah, being the extremely perfectionist one but still, one who always made us wait for minutes, hours or days..Instead of leaving her out in any of our meet-up, we made efforts to put our appointment time earlier or whatever it takes so taht we can have a proper get-together.

Liz, the eldest of all yet the most petty, sory! It was never reali on our nerve as we understood she was the youngest in the family while all 3 of us, who are younger than her, are all the eldest in our individual families..

See, we appreciated each others companies yet lived with the flaws..

We were HAPPY..

Blissfully happy in our innocent lives..

Carefree most of the times..

But now,

it seems that things has changed 360 deg..

I wonder why?

was it because now that we each have husbands & kids, we have lesser times for each other?

Or was it because now, out of 4, 3 is married and the 1 feels left-out..

But as far as I recall, every efforts have been made to keep the flames going..

Or it is because now that I am reaping more juice of success, as u may have feel, I appeared more callous?

More callous and aloof than I already looked?

haiz..

I have always said to myself..

No One Shall Judge Me Other Than Allah..

similarly like how I should not be too quick to throw judgement on anyone whom I barely know.

Unless, it is someone who have cause grievous hurt to me or my family..

But for some1 to judge you only after knowing you for decades, it seems so ridiculous and sad..

If you would asked, why now?

U mentioned we should understand her..

As far as I & Liz knows, being married, we should never wash our dirty linens to others.

Even though we are best of frens, even if we sense anything wrong, it is not right for us to poke our nose and probe if everything is ok.

We should trust that all is blissfully good.

And if it is not, we are all ears and our shoulders are ready for you to cry on.

We are not magician to read your mind / heart or wateva..

it is simply not as easy as it used to be...

Last time, it would be at most about projects, BGR, tak bawak buku la, lupa P.E attire la..

Or worse, TAK BLAJAR UNTUK TEST / EXAMS..etc

But now, it is more serious life issues ok..

Fuck!

I am going on & on about it..

I think no time for each other resulted in feeling that no one cares and in turn the mind settled that it is all because of success & moolahs & all those material shit!

But deep down, we know that..

WE STILL CARE........

at least I feel that I still do..

Please...

This ranting is not to penalise any1 of us..

Not to pin-point anybody or watsoever..

But just to make you think..

Think of all the good times..those laughters..

And as I had read Liz blog, I just have to agree with her..

Maybe both of us have got so comfortable with our life..

So much so that we get drowned by our own happiness..

Liz, a happy SAHM, with her family, dependable husband, 2 beautiful kids and a home..

Me, happy with my dear hubby, joyful son, a roof on our head, all the assets in our clutch, beautiful family and family-in-law, a job we called career..

But lemme tell you, and i believe Liz would agree so much with me, it is human relationship taht matter most and NEVER the material part..

You wanna know y?

Cos we reali value kinship, friendship..

And reason y I always bothered to make dates to meet, is simply to strengthen the relationship that I felt was straying away..

And wanna know y we reali treasure the people around us?

Simply cos, we have both lost our loved ones..

How much we missed them can never ever be amounted to anything at all..

NOt sure abt her but to close the pain, I kept myself busy with worldly goals..

Never have i forgotten my ukhrawi but that is something that i dun have to show off rite?

And because of that pain and the fact that I have to show a strong front to my mom, dad and brother so that they can get on with life too, I have become more stoic and unfeeling, something which I dun deny..

I seem more aloof but trust me, I am still warm-hearted.

I may say i dun care but I do..

Strong peeps need a shoulder to cry too..

Just that I am destined to be one who can never show my emotions openly, even if I want to..

Only twice it happened, on the 18th of June 2004, the day of her accident.

And 21st of June 2004, the day I kissed her my last goodbye...

If Allah can give back my lil sis in trade of the materialistic assets that I have, the success that I have gained, I WOULD..

but Just lemme keep my family..

My husband..

and my son..

Just so that..

My family portrait will never have a missing jigsaw puzzle again...