Torn....between choices..

i am torn..i am stuck..shucks! dis feeling sucks... i am looking forward to ma big day but definately not the hassle of putting everything together... i guess its hard tt ur the 1st cucu to get on the pelamin & to make things worse, negatively & positively tt is, the 1st AND only daughter for the family, u are the brunt of all that need to be done. i just need a simple wedding to unite me with ma love. i had always hated attention, so i dun wish 4 e overwhelming focus on me. i wanna get drown in the crowd but here, its said tt i must stand out in the crowd. Astargfirullah...Ya Allah, tolong aku! i know its all for ma benefits, but dun i even get a say? i mean, i do have ma own taste or preferences. I respect all that will be done but it is still me who's wedding is.

i worry tt if too many things are planned to be done, it will messed up. If too many decision maker, it will screw up. haiz...or maybe its juz me. Me who prefer to blend in. Me who prefer things simple. Me who hate hassle. Me who juz wanna be ordinary. To me, all i need is the akad nikah. Tts all i care. i am just going along with the other arrangements. Cos, Yes, adat resam Melayu harus dipertahankan. i do agree. ok, maybe its just me. i get freak out at all that is gonna happen.

lets be done with it & i will be able to build ma own home, rite darling?

" Shasa, why u had to leave? You would have loved all this kan? I would be glad 4 the attention to be on you, though i noe i had always envy, but hey, its only human... i noe its your thing. Its ok, i believe u are happier there...take care..."